7 Things That Now I'm Sure Of

With or without words
I'll try

In English
as this large difficulty that
I have now here with me.

How can I explain it?
I can't.

How could I give a name to this feeling?
I think I cannot do this.

There's only two things that now I know:

1) The certainty
2) and this unbelieving feeling that now it's me.

A pause, please, God.

There are another two things:

3) The certainty, another one, that is
the fact I am still here
4) And the other one that is this hate
that I'm feeling front of the weakness
from human being.

I told that maybe I wouldn't have words for this.
Indeed, I haven't

But this feeling
- this feeling -
Is much bigger
than everything I ever felt
Is much more impossible
than it's possible for me

And guess what?

5) I am here with all this fucking pain
6) I am here only with me
and
7) I am loving it.